Talent shows. Nobody wants them, nobody asked for them to appear on the TV screen yet millions of people in their droves tune in to the dreary sights of Britain’s Got Talent and Strictly Come Dancing. Why? Well apparently despite there being an interest in seeing a normal Joe singing well, it seems the British public like to see the deluded souls who are ushered on screen to be insulted by tanned “experts”.
That is possibly why it was chosen as the first subject in Clive Anderson’s latest series - examining and discussing different areas. More accurately, the series appears to be a nostalgic glance at a form of lowest common denominator TV that has somehow spawned spin-offs worldwide.
The Early days of the Talent Show
This programme concluded what most people knew in the first place, that talent shows these days are schadenfreude at its most depressing and a further excuse to parade around egotistical judges, or as Terry Christian put it “two smug blokes and a woman with a paralysed face”. It was far more interesting when it talked about the early days before celebrity became a buzzword as too much television time these days focuses on the success modern talent watsits.
It was strange to remember that the likes of Les Dennis, Sheena Easton and Tom O’Connor (described by Stewart Lee as playing so many cruise ships he's probably got scurvy) got their break through on talent competitions such as Opportunity Knocks and New Faces.
Back then before Cowell got his grubby claws and high waistband trousers on the genre, people had proper talent – guys playing spoons or a bloke drinking a pint while standing on his head, dogs that could say “sausages” – not simply an endless array of singers or flashy dancers. The old days were completely naff and knew they were. From the shoddy sets to the utterly unscientific “clapometer” it really was harmless variety fun.
The Funny Side of…Not Very Funny
The contrast of old and new really showed how crass and degrading Pop Stars et al really are. Saying that the new breed of narcissistic judge really needed to be slated here and showing bits of Peter Kay’s spoof wasn’t enough.
Anderson (would that he could be on TV more) was good but there was not enough of him to stick the boot into old nemesis Piers Morgan and recycle the same juggling jokes. Who cares what Tony Hatch thinks about X Factor? And why did what was essentially a clip show take up an hour of TV? This needed 30 minutes and less sycophantic contributors.
It was a bit odd to call something “The funny side…” when it actually wasn’t that funny and just an excuse for the talking heads to fawn over Cowell and his cronies. It was good to see Richard Park living out every viewer’s fantasy by telling Patrick Kielty to shut up on Fame Academy but anyone who does want a laugh on a Thursday night should tune into BBC Three (no way!) at 10.30pm for We Are Klang’s new series.
The Funny Side of… is on BBC Two every Thursday at 9.30pm.
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