Series five of The Apprentice is already shaping up as one of the best yet. Still only half way through and the candidates have produced a whole host of pricelessly excruciating television moments; handing out empty wraps and cold bruchetta at a corporate event, flogging gooey slabs of raw honey as luxury soap, and contemplating the creation of a piece of gym equipment called the Bingo Wing Buster.
However none will make audiences want to dive for cover more than this week’s creation by estate agent Philip Taylor: Pants Man.
The Task
The task was simple. It required the candidates to execute a marketing campaign for a new children’s breakfast cereal; which included a name, a fictional character to represent the brand, a box design, and a television advert they had to direct and shoot. Indeed, for a group who see themselves as the top business brains in the country this was a real test of their creative ability.
Captain Squawk
However, unlike most episodes, it was clear from the outset that this was going to be a one horse race. Headed up by the very capable Kate Walsh, team Empire hit the ground running and immediately showed where the real talent among the remaining candidates lay.
Hard headed but always highly imaginative, 22 year old trainee stock - broker Ben Stokes lay the foundations of their idea by suggesting a treasure trail theme which quickly evolved into the idea for a pirate character. Inspired by the groups following discussions on pirate paraphernalia, the overbearing, but somewhat endearing, James McQuillan became fixed upon the idea of a parrot pirate, and as decisively as they began, the team ended up with Captain Squawk’s Treasure Flakes.
Pants Man
The contrast with team Ignite could not have been starker. Not only did the team posses Science teacher Noohul – undoubtedly the worst candidate ever to be on the show – but were plagued by infighting and animosity from the start. Despite being led by Kimberly Davies, who claims to be a marketing expert, the team were initially incapable of coming up with any concept what so ever.
Finally, it was left to estate agent Philip Taylor to push his idea – which was the only one on offer – of Pants Man. However, the actual logic behind Pants Man was difficult to fathom. Philip seemed to be suggesting that as super heroes wore their pants on the outside, eating Pants Man cereal, which made children ‘get up and go’ would remind them to put their pants on the right way. However this ‘get up and go’ slogan and how it connected to Pants Man seemed to have everyone at a loss, including his team, the advertising campaigners, and most importantly Sir Alan.
Your Fired!
It was quite clear how things would end up. Empire’s concept went from strength to strength. Captain Squawk was a huge hit with the advertising campaigners; their box design was excellent and had lots of nice touches - like a crossed bowl and spoon instead of skull and cross bones-, and even though their advert was awful, victory seemed inevitable.
Again, as if in some parallel dimension, the contrast between Ignite was stark. The team bickered their way through the day, were unable to properly consult the graphic designer, delivered a terribly patronizing pitch and had their idea shot to pieces by the advertisers and Sir Alan - who described their whole campaign as ‘crap’, ‘total rubbish’ and ‘a bloody disaster’.
Bringing Lorraine Tighe, because she was disruptive, and Philip Taylor because Pants Man was his monstrous creation, back into the board room, team leader Kimberly Davies sought to excuse her failure by saying that in her day to day marketing role she ‘was not creative’ but ‘managed creativity’.
Unfortunately, this David Brent logic of ‘if it’s in you I’ll find it - but if it’s not in you I don’t wanna be blamed coz you haven’t got it’ failed to win over Sir Alan. In the end, he felt that the fact Kimberly allowed the idea of Pants Man to go forward was even worse than the fact Philip invented it - she became the sixth contestant to be fired.
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